Life With Desani at Pemberton Parkway

 The dead end street Pemberton Parkway runs parallel with Pease Park there in Austin, Texas just a mile or so West of the University of Texas campus. The park is shielded from the block long Parkway, approximately a quarter of a mile, by a thick stand of trees and the residence is blessed with a great many elm trees. The property is on the side of a quite steep hill and though in the heart of Austin it has an air of being secluded, the stand of trees on the property and in the park making for a relatively quiet environment. An excavation into the side of the hill was made when they built the garage apartment. The park itself is a waterway with a walking path alongside with the woods concentrated between the stream and Pemberton Parkway street.

Desani was keen to avoid drawing attention to himself. For my visits I was asked to park  across from the entrance to the street and walk to the house. So, the attention drawing scene of many cars would be avoided.

The first thing one would see approaching the house was a car port where Blossom Burns parked her car, that white Cadillac sedan I've mentioned. The car port was designed for two cars but Desani parked his blue Ford Thunderbird on the street as half the car port was enclosed for storage space. In that enclosure was a huge safe where Professor presumably kept his collection of precious gems and likely, papers important to him such as the Nadi texts. A washing machine and a dryer were there too in a utility closet along with the apartment hot water heater.

The steps to the house were on the left and consisted of, as I recall, two landings with three  flights of stairs. The third flight ended just at the corner of the wing of the garage apartment and from there one could walk up to Blossom's main house on a fourth flight or turn right through a door in a fence to the entry of the apartment. This fence was solid wood affording complete privacy and it was a bit over six feet tall. This two room wing or addition was something we added to the apartment after Desani took up residence there. It was perhaps twenty five feet long and about ten wide. For some time our friend Allen Smith lived in these two rooms. As I understand Allen was a professional photographer and was employed at a nearby studio.

On the left immediately through the door next the stairway landing was a pool of water surrounded by rip-wrap stone with a device, a pipe and a pump for having the water running and splashing into the pool. Lynn Hough and Josh Farley contributed this charming addition by which I mean they personally built it. It was referred to as the Devi's pool or fountain. Here it is:

Past the patio door to the apartment was another glass door opening into a kind of vestibule to the right of which were Allen's rooms and going directly ahead was a third door, the actual entry to Desani's apartment.

The alcove that led to Allen's space also contained a book case and an exercise apparatus consisting of pulleys and ropes attached to a wall. Desani used this to exercise.

Backtracking a bit here. When I first enrolled in one of Desani's classes he was living in a couple of rooms at Glenda's (last name unknown). She was married and lived with her husband in their place near Lake Travis where I visited several times. But, for some reason, he moved to Blossom's place, perhaps because it was closer to the campus. As I understand it, before Glenda's he resided at Ila Mayberry's house which also was near Lake Travis I think. And before that - this is all before my time - I want to say he lived in a high rise apartment between the Texas state capital building and the University campus. I  want to think that was when he first moved from India to the United States, around 1960.

Anyhow, we moved him from Glenda's to Blosom's place mainly using my Chevrolet van or panel truck, yellow, 1968 model year I think it was. Most of the moving was done with that by Allen and myself with the preparation of packing boxes and unpacking them taken up by our other friends. If I recall correctly it was the first trip of the move Allen and I were going along Farm Market througway 2222 towards Austin. A white Lincoln passed us and the female passengers in the back seat, four of them, stuck their naked rear ends in the back window. Well that was strange but understand  Austin was then, and now too I suppose, somewhat of a flesh pot. Anyhow, just an anecdote. Some years later I asked Allen if he recalled the incident and he said no. But as I was driving it was my business to pay strict attention to every detail including bums lined up in back windows of Lincoln cars.

Back to Pemberton Parkway. The main door, entry alcove, led to another door into the apartment proper. Going through that one could pass through an opening into his sleeping area off of which were a wash room and the apartment's facilities. This was shielded by a huge wardrobe which also gave privacy to his bedroom. The apartment had no closets and was formerly used by Blossom Burns as a studio where she worked in stained glass.

Alternately one would turn right immediately past that main entrance - actually it was the only entrance - and pass through a kind of hallway along which were walls lined with ceiling high bookshelves and on into a sitting room. On the left was a couch, facing south, on the right was Professor's chair. Todd has posted some pictures (scroll down to Bungalow) of this area which do not show the pictures on the wall behind the couch. One of these fair sized pictures was of the Little Lord and I recall one of a Devi whose name I do not recall. What space in the shelving not taken up by books was filled with a large variety of his collection of little things mostly connected somehow with the spiritual practices of India. His chair was next to a never used free standing fireplace and faced North. He had cast and gold painted large cats, tigers, next to his chair. He also kept a pet cat named Snowball who was quite independent minded. I recall Snowball disdainful of being held by Professor. This is where he would sit when receiving visitors. He sat here when reading us the Nadi texts. Besides the couch there were a variety of small chairs with some of the legs legs cut off shortening them into stools. There was enough seating for ten or twelve and I recall at times just sitting on the floor.

Proceeding past this area East was another sitting area with only one chair near a telephone, a radio - he would listen to classical music broadcasts on KMFA (89.5 FM) and KUT (90.5 FM). The floor here was littered with scraps of paper on which he made notes. One would surmise this was his office where he would work on his writing projects. Though there was no desk there were shelves near which contained many of his collected things, images, and the like, objects, a silver coated lead casting of Ganapati, Ganesha, the so called Elephant Headed Lord, brother of the Little Lord in the Hindu pantheon. There are mantra practices devoted to the Little Lord and to Ganapati.

To the left, North of this area was a tiny kitchen with a refrigerator and cook stove, spice cabinets, and the like. Hah! I never saw this area without the sinks being full of soiled dishes and he was loath to allow anyone to go in there and tidy the place, for you see he knew where everything was and disturbing his scheme completely threw him off. Having trouble with his eyesight I surmise he relied on memory to find needed items and was greatly troubled when he might have to search with his troubled eyes to find anything. He was loath to trouble anyone to help him in this regard except to just leave stuff alone as not to interfere in his self reliance. He observed many times that everyone had their own scheme which did not match his. "That's your scheme," he would say. Nevertheless I do not know how he did it but quite delicious meals were prepared there served on paper plates in woven rattan holders with disposable plastic utensils and paper tea cups with plastic holders which practice bespoke his concern for cleanliness contrary to the sinks filled with soiled utensils.

The refrigerator was old and didn't defrost properly - as I recall it did not have a defrost cycle at all; defrosting was done manually - thus flooding the bottom which I was called on to make a shelf to go under the freezer compartment. In this shelf I rigged a drain hose to carry the melted ice to a container below. Professor's habit was to make do with what he had. When he would ask for assistance it was usually in line with prolonging the usefulness of things at hand.

Turning left before entering this kitchen area led into a narrow passage past more bookshelves to a sliding door on the left that was the entrance to a devotional space or prayer room.  Entering this area on the right one observed a low table - all the furnishings here were very low, a few inches above the floor. To the left of this low table on which flowers and sundry offerings were placed was his personal meditation area which, as far as I know, no one ever entered - intuitively obvious.  Besides a place to sit there was another very low table on which were arranged several prayer beads, malas, covered with a transparent ephemera of a cloth. Adjacent to his private space, to the west was a tiny area where one - visitors - could kneel, facing north, and make their obeisance and offerings. I knew intuitively that this was reserved for the use of devotees. It was a lovely and clearly sacred space. The peace and quiet of this space, indeed of the entire apartment was profound. It might as well have been a cave in the remote mountains of Tibet. We would ask permission to visit the prayer room and would always be permitted with the caveat to wash our hands and remove any leather and of course our shoes.

As mentioned elsewhere full moon days were the occasion for special preparation. Some would prepare and arrange in the prayer room offerings as various as bouquets of flowers and small covered dishes holding a few coins, sweets and so forth. I often brought wild flowers from my place which run riot here in the spring. Friend Josh Farley once chastised me for my choice which unfortunately for him included allergen producing plants. However, Desaniji - Blossom called him Desaniji - told me once that my field flowers were very charming.

Josh suffered from hay fever and Desani made to help him using homeopathic procedures. Josh was instructed to sleep with bits of juniper under his pillow. I don't know if this worked for him but Desani did speak often of homeopathic remedies though he was not averse to doctor visits. I recall he complained of having some form of edema for which he might wear a heavy coat even in warm weather to promote perspiration which when I noted once he told me it was not for me. He guarded against having his followers mimic his behavior unless it was intended by him. He understood that people looked to him for patterns they could imitate in order to be as he was.

But I digress. The whole of the north wall of the apartment was dominated by windows. Professor tasked me with securing this as these windows were vulnerable to break-ins. I fabricated expanded metal facings which attached to the outside. These devices were admittedly crude but they did what was intended, provided Desani with a sense of security against intruders. Note that as far as I know the crime rate in Austin, particularly in this neighborhood was very low. The windows were also covered with blackout curtains which was, no doubt, a carry over from his time in England during World War II when the Germans would fly across the English channel and drop their bombs on London. In Austin these curtains served to give privacy. I think he was up at all hours, so the neighbors were inhibited from observing this.

This was a very affluent neighborhood. The neighbor to the North was a physician  and the house to the south was a splendid edifice. Across the street, as noted, was Pease park - no houses. I doubt there were more than six or seven residences on the entire street, which had no outlet,  but all around the other directions there were fine residences indeed. So, mostly professionals lived in the area.

There was an Indian store not far North called MGM where Desani shopped. The Indian proprietor was a Christian which I didn't know at the time that there were Christian Indians. He told me when once I asked him about an image displayed near the checkout that Jesus was known in India as Jesu. Later I became very interested in Jesu and his supposed travels to India. Desani also shopped at a local grocery chain outlet called HEB. I ran into him there once pushing a cart while reading a book. On such outings it was his practice to carry his personal things in a mesh bag; transparent so no one would think he was stealing anything. He did such things in order to not cause trouble with store keepers. It was a sophisticated kind of compassion, you see.

The apartment had a flat roof. I don't know how old this place was but after he had lived there awhile this roof developed leaking problems. the roof was made of plywood covered with tar paper and then gravel embedded in tar. Mrs. Burns, Blossom,  had a limited income, I suppose, at any rate I volunteered to try to repair the leaks. Another example on my part of fools rushing in. Having identified as best as possible where the leaks originated I scraped away the tar and gravel as best I could and applied new tar bought for the purpose. Five gallon cans. Originally the professionals used tar they melted in an appropriate machine, of course. The material I used was applied cold and would set up in a day. So I spread this with a trowel and swept the gravel back on it. I did this successfully several times over some period of time but, finally my repair resulted in tar leaking into the apartment which poor Allen had to deal with by rigging a cloth to catch and channel it into a container. Much to everyone's relief at this point professionals were called in and the roof was replaced.

Along the way we added another addition to the apartment. Several of us worked on this including Allen, Josh, Lynn, and Blossom, myself. These two rooms were added to the west side of the apartment and housed a single bed. I think this addition was about six feet wide and maybe twenty five long. At the south end was a tiny area that Allen concentrated on, a kind of place of meditation. It was very nice and had an air conducive to its purpose. Desani moved into this small area and remained in seclusion there for some months as instructed by the Nadi writers. My somewhat faulty memory is that this coincided with the period when he observed a vow of silence as instructed by the Nadi writers. He would not speak but did write notes. Also the Nadi writers tasked him with mantra recitations. Thousands and thousands. He reported this to us. I think two malas were used for this. A mala, prayer beads, consists of one hundred eight beads. One hundred are for the recitation and eight for possible errors. So a smaller set of beads were needed to accommodate counts above one hundred or equal or greater than a thousand. I don't know how many were in this smaller set, maybe fifty four. Anyhow the practice would be to do one hundred eight then one of the smaller mala then another one hundred eight, then a second of the smaller, and so forth.

Later, as mentioned in another post he went to Boston University as a visiting professor at the behest of Boston University president John Silber formerly University of Texas dean of Arts and Sciences and before that chairman of the philosophy department. Not long after he returned from Boston he fell ill with a stroke. Saint David's hospital was where he went for care. He had a private room there. His circle of students or devotees took turns sitting there over night during this time. After returning home he was never the same and it became difficult for him to deal with the stairs and such so he moved again to a rental house not far away.

Desani would turn to friend and attorney Stephen Greenburg for help with his legal affairs and for sundry other considerations. Stephen, it might be said, was the senior follower or disciple of Desani's. It was Stephen who determined to catalog his books and possessions so that, as it was put to me, in case Desani asked for an item one could look it up in the spreadsheet which recorded its former location in the apartment and which box it was packed in after this move. I was tasked with making this spreadsheet, data base, really. Stephen provided an IBM laptop computer for this purpose. I actually moved into the apartment for a short while and would daily, after my work at Texas Department of Public Safety, remove items from the shelves, enter their data into the spreadsheet, the origin and the label of the box where the book was placed, and of course, the title and publisher of the volume. This was quite a prodigious task as there were thousands of books.

This is a brief description of those times in the late 20th century concerning the life of G. V. Desani in Austin, Texas mostly after his retirement from the Philosophy department of the University of Texas. This hardly does justice to the situation but added to the whole body of work surrounding this subject it will perhaps give a little insight into the nuts and bolts of Professor's daily life from someone who was actually there.

For all his eccentricities and extreme sophistication Professor Govinda Vishnudas Desani was a very simple man. His needs were very small. His ambitions likewise. His journey through life was ever tending inward. Being always satisfied with what came naturally, that is, without effort, his practice is best described as living by grace characterized by a benign indifference to the ups and downs of daily existence. It happens over the course of time that the people of this earth are blessed with the presence among them of exemplars of true faith, of true devotion to the good, to beauty, to truth, to love, and the like. This writer does not need to name the prime examples again. These ones are not easily identified for out of profound humility they do not put themselves forward for what they truly are. Professor, as I recall never claimed to be Hindu, for instance, but it has been said that the Hindus believed in olden times that "God" could assume a personality, if he so willed it, and walk among his created beings, his people. Desani would often mention the divinity appearing among us in illusionary form, "maya svarupa" I think is what he would call it. So, in conclusion, G.V. Desani was such. He achieved what all seekers wish to achieve and that is hypostatic union with "that primal spirit whence issued forth of old the whole cosmic activity."

Note on Desani's Nadi Texts

There are things which can only be told to those who already have the knowledge because otherwise, they will not be believed. S.M Stirling, The Peshawar Lancers

The Gods can only contemplate as that is their whole nature. It is for man to do what he can to be like the Gods. Aristotle

I last mentioned the Nadis in a post titled In Retrospect in 2023. This is prompted by those considerations. In 2011 I posted notes I took from Desani's readings of the Nadi texts in Austin, Texas in the 1980s.

In the far distant and dim past these Nadi (pronounced Nari) writers walked the earth one must surmise, and through their spiritual practice came to be very gifted, extraordinary people having extraordinary gifts or abilities. These included beneficence, fellow feeling, an inclination to help those less gifted. Assisted no doubt by superior beings, they learned to see things others could not. Presumably thousands of years later their beneficiaries on repeated exposure to them through their recorded writings, a familiarity rooted and grew. These great benefactors include Nundi Deva, Shiva Yogi, Markandeya, and Rudra. These names are from the texts themselves which always began by listing those present.

I don't recall the exact frequency but periodically we would be telephoned by Professor Desani to visit for the purpose of hearing his readings of these Nadi texts. Over time, this went on for years, a kind of familiarity grew around these episodes. My particular participation dated from 1979 through 1980 according to my notes. Grace. We got to sit again with Nundi Deva, Shiva Yogi, Markandeya, Rudra - their presence was palpable - and enjoy the outpouring of their work, their writings, and partake at the same time of Desani's sweet tea and fellowship of the attendees; the sweetness of the tea, the goodness of the repast pale in comparison to the words of the teacher, his reading of those benefactors from the ancient past.

Reading of Nadi texts would begin with recitation of the names of those present at the time of the convocation. This list, I recall, varied somewhat. As noted, I am a poor note taker and would point out that the names listed are merely the ones recalled. One reading, according to my notes, the names included "Devi", divine mother.

My surmise is that while these entities at one point in their evolution appeared in bodily form they were, or evolved into, I guess one might say, spiritual beings; one might refer to them as centers of pure consciousness having the ability to take on bodily form at will. One can only speculate. I necessarily fall back on knowledge and understanding imparted by Professor Desani over the several years I was fortunate enough to have been a student. To put this in perhaps more familiar terms to a person of the western tradition, these might be similar to what some might call angelic beings, or a kind of guardian angel. Celestial beings would also perhaps be appropriate. Anyhow, they were not mere flesh and blood people.

Obviously, my presumption is that the world includes highly developed entities far superior to mere human beings, that a process of evolutionary development is underway which properly understood means that sentient life forms, such as humans, eventually evolve into higher forms of being where 'bodies' become increasingly subtle giving way to something beyond the ken of most of mankind.

Strike that. This is not easy. I want to not stray from that which is centrally important. This phenomenon is not easily explained or understood; but it did happen. I was a mere witness to these proceedings and truly, that is the essence of this offering. I do not presume to any kind of special knowledge or understanding or favor of the teacher. In short, I can point to the matter but the reader must, perforce, do their own seeing. So, how then does one account for it? Is that even an acceptable approach to the subject? Anyhow, whether incarnated or illusionary I know not. Desani - anyone who studies his work will see this - shared this information widely through his essays and lectures and one on one with followers and there are indications in his writing and teaching  that these texts were dictated to a writer - a human being - who had the ability to contact these entities, or perhaps, was susceptible to being contacted by them. Desani does say in this regard that the 'stenographer' would make marks - strike outs, corrections - on the split bamboo or palm 'leaves' on which the recording was made, which, to me at least, adds a layer of authenticity. Meaning that the person making the record made mistakes and corrections. So, like this one, a perhaps imperfect note taker with which I can certainly identify. In that connection it should be noted that the speakers equivocated on some points allowing for different outcomes depending at times on the efforts or should one say, the merit of those being spoken of.

Professor showed me one of these original palm leaf Nadis once.

See here where Desani's own words give some light to this. The quote there is lifted from his paper on Indian affairs hosted by friend Todd Katz at Desani.org.

Now. University of Texas Dean John Silber, formerly of the Philosophy department, was instrumental in bringing Desani to the university. This would be before my time there. Later, Silber was president of Boston University and Desani's bequeath provided for the gift of these Nadi texts to Boston University where no doubt they yet remain. Silber and Desani were close friends to the point that Desani who avoided touching anyone would on meeting Silber embrace him. This was reported to me, as I recall, by Blossom Burns who knew him very well indeed as he lived in a garage apartment at her Pemberton Parkway house there in Austin for many years. It was during his time there that I had the most contact with him. My point is there was mutual trust between John Silber and Professor Desani.

Permit, please, an aside about Mrs. Burns. Divorced she had one off spring that I knew of. She had a quite large white sedan, a Cadillac, which she used to drive Professor to his classes at the University. After his retirement they still went there frequently to check the mail, and the like. I expect the Nadi texts were mailed to the University of Texas (Austin) Philosophy department instead of the Pemberton Parkway address which was just a mile or so from the campus. Blossom Burns was what you might call a protege of Desani's and was before that a student in one or more of his classes. She was also a member of the Carl Jung society of Austin, and in fact, when she passed away willed the Pemberton Parkway property to them.

Of course, as mentioned here in previous posts, the Nadi texts came to Desani  translated, typed up on regular paper for ease of reference but, behind all these - we all saw these for he read from them to us - were the split bamboo - also referred to as palm leaf - versions, the originals. I do not know if Desani had all of these originals or whether these palm leaf originals are at Boston University's archives. I understand at least some are.

I recall the texts state Desani has more Nadis than any other yogi.

Likely scenario. The transcriber would invoke these great beings who had the ability to see all. All. The future included, and would make a record of these proceedings which eventually came into the possession of Desani himself via his proteges in India - Misters Murthi and Pele - these translated and typed the texts. One would assume that at least one of these was responsible for actually finding the texts too. That is to say the texts were not, again, I assume, theirs, but they knew where to find them; perhaps Desani himself identified the sources, the holders, and directed his people accordingly. I don't know. I rather think Desani was chosen, likely at his own request, as the best instrument, gifted with the ability to advance the agenda of those superior beings, mankind's spiritual guides, benefactors.

Of course, I find myself out on the perhaps tail end of this and, also, of course, yield to that which gives impetus to the program, a simple tool, that is, in the hands of the master. Be humble! Unworthy? Yes, of course, but the teacher works the clay at hand as best as possible. As stated, he made do with what was available. A favorite statement repeated often was "leave it to the Lord."

To be sure every word I write here is tinged with doubt and trepidation. I feel, however, that some record of these events faulty as they might be, aside from Desani's own writings, are better than none at all. Note. There are others from this circle that would be better at this but they do not come forth. I'm sure they have their reasons, authentic reasons. Note also. While Desani.org (Todd Katz) is, in my view, for the most part a repository of his writings there are entries there that provide insights as to Professor's private life, day to day activities; his affinity for gold paint, his culinary skills, his activities, travels. There is also a section dedicated to images which is a great addition. It would be an error to think that I am detracting from Katz's efforts. It seems to me he has more or less dedicated his life to Desani.org. There is nothing lacking there at all. Maybe our approaches differ somewhat. One might construe that I call attention to myself whereas he is better at avoiding that. So, I'm trying to fill in the blanks as to what it was like to be a follower of Desani. Admittedly I am not up the task, thus the doubt and fear and reluctance.

Not wanting to offend anyone at all I would note that others from that circle maybe do their duty to the teacher by pursuing the spiritual practice exclusively. He always emphasized the necessity of practice. I don't doubt they have outdone me in this. I allow for this and would add that it is a prodigiously difficult pursuit. It is a profoundly challenging craft - can't be overemphasized - imagine working with a matter measured in angstroms and smaller. Perhaps that is why the teacher says that one can be over scrupulous, for, my friend, you can't get there from here without the grace of God. So, in pursuit of the craft it is no surprise that there is no time for reflecting the way I do and writing as one sees here. And, perhaps, there is simply a division of labor. The path we walk is our own. Alone.

Desani was a very, very gifted individual and remains unappreciated, as near as I can tell, by a world, or a community of seekers, that could greatly benefit from knowledge and understanding of his life, his untiring efforts, his very strong intention indeed, to benefit the people of his time and thereafter. He was a collector of precious stones, jewels. He also was something of a collector, organizer, collator of methods and procedures  for spiritual attainments, for full self realization of what might be called the ultimate reality. This one believes faithfully he was successful in this quest. I do not see how anyone who studies his writings could come to any other conclusion than he was one of a very few such people in the history of the world who achieved all that anyone anywhere anytime could possibly realize in this regard. Professor was a contemplative. He wanted to be like the gods, you see.

Desani proclaimed himself - in the Rangoon lecture - to be a man of the world. He lived as others, had friends, romantic encounters, was for awhile ambitious. He eventually denounced this saying he did not seek fame. Success and failure were familiar to him. He did not suffer fools. He demonstrated great compassion and scholarship. His love of knowledge and understanding was surpassed only by his abiding, professed love of the Divine. He was approachable, kind, generous, courteous, supremely self confident, yet humble, self effacing, of delightful good humor.

It is to my teacher that I owe all. I learned through him that reason is the father of knowledge and that contemplation produces understanding, a province of spiritual growth; knowledge is thus for our material selves and understanding for our spirit. Most of all I learned to yield, to say, with the Christians, "not my will but thine be done."

On the validity of the Nadi texts. Desani was a man of the world, of his time and place - he said so. This means, in part, he was well practiced in identifying and avoiding false people, scammers, if you will. He was expert at this, no doubt. One recalls that his Hatterr might be said to be the tale of a poor seeker's path through a series of tricksters whose livelihood came from preying on gullible spiritual seekers. You decide. As for this writer, my trust is in the teacher, faith. Being a man among men he necessarily was not flawless - a man among men, recall? Yet we seek not perfection but that nearby. One can be overly scrupulous, take note, he says - reference is at this link, a truly wonderful recent addition to the Katz's site. Anyhow, this is true beneficence, for perfection being unreachable teaches us that the striving is itself the real path to actualization.